The Mediator

Sleeping Beauty, Tom Thumb, and Don Juan were having a terrible fight. "I am
the most beautiful person in the world," proclaimed Sleeping Beauty. "No, you're
not�, answered Don Juan and Tom Thumb. "I am the smallest person in the world,"
shouted Tom Thumb. "No, you're not," said Sleeping Beauty and Don Juan. "I've
had more lovers than any person in the world," announced Don Juan. "No, you
haven't" replied Tom Thumb and Sleeping Beauty. Well, they decided that if the
three were to get along, they needed a mediator, and decided that Merlin,
clearly the smartest person in the world, would be ideal. Merlin agreed and
summoned them all to his palace, where he announced he would meet with them one
at a time. Sleeping Beauty went in first and not a minute later came out
beaming. "I am the most beautiful person in the world, Merlin said so." In went
Tom Thumb and out he came as quickly as had Sleeping Beauty. "I am the smallest
person in the world. Merlin agrees." In goes Don Juan and in he stays, a half
hour, an hour, an hour and a half later. Finally, he emerges distraught,
muttering, "Who the hell is Bill Clinton"