The leprechaun

A man got himself a wee bit too drunk on St Patrick's day and is stumbling towards home. As he comes up to his stoop he trips and goes flying headlong into the bushes. Much to his surprise he spies a leprechaun and managed to nab him by the neck. "I gotcha! Now show me to your pot o gold!" He slurred. The crafty leprechaun thinking quickly replies " oh tis not quite so easy as that these days, alas my gold is spent. Though since you have captured me I can grant ye three wishes, but I must have something in return. " "Ha, what do you want ya wee basterd?" Said the man. " first you must let me have my way with your rump"" NO WAY" "remember the wishes, you can fix up your bum, forget the whole thing, and still have what your heart desires" "well I suppose I'll do it" so they head upstairs and get the party started. Naturally the man is in a great deal of pain and toake matters worse, the leprechaun has a giant penis, huge. " I don't be I caught your name laddy" said the leprechaun mid pound. "Michael is my name, and hurry up, this is killing me" "Ah Michael it is then. And how old are you Michael?" The leprechaun says as the man begins to bleed. "I'm 34, what can it matter? Just get over with it!" "Ah 34, 34, say Michael, don't ya think that is a wee bit old to still be believing in leprechauns?"

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