There's this man, let's call him Greg, who has wanted a 1979 Harley Davidson Ironhead 1000 Kickstart his whole life. (It's rare, about 160 made.) After getting engaged to the love of his life, he decides to find one. After some searching, he finds one for only $500. Immediately, he calls the owner and sets up a time to come look at the bike.
Upon arrival, Greg meets this old man and asks him about the bike. The old man just smiles as he opens the garage and reveals the Harley in perfect showroom condition. Astonished, Greg asks the man how he kept the bike looking so new. With a chuckle, the old man says, "it's an old family secret. Every time it's going to rain, I coat every inch of the bike in Vasoline. The water runs right off and keeps the bike looking new." Greg gives the man the money and loads the bike up.
After getting it home, he starts the bike up and takes off to pick up his fiancée to have dinner with her parents, stopping to get some Vasoline for the bike.
When they arrive, she stops him at the doorstep and says, "there's something you need to know about my family. Nobody talks during dinner. Whoever speaks first has to wash all the dishes." Greg nods and they go inside.
He's met with an entryway that has a tiny path leading inside. On either side of the path are dishes stacked floor to ceiling. As he walks further into the house he sees the living room filled with dishes, floor to ceiling, except for a tiny path to the couch and between the couch and TV. The stairs, the halfway, the rooms, all riddled with dishes floor to ceiling.
When dinner starts, everyone sits down and starts eating, and sure enough, nobody says a word.
About five minutes in, Greg thinks, *I can have fun with this* and reaches over and grabs his fiancée's titty.
The father glares at him, the mother acts like she didn't see anything, but sure enough, nobody says a word.
Delighted by this reaction, Greg grabs his fiancée, throws her on the table, rips off her pants and begins fucking her right in the table.
The father is fuming, the mother gasps loudly, but... nobody says a word.
Greg sits back down and begins to eat again. After several more minutes, he decides to go even further and reaches over and grabs the mother's titty, throws her on the table, and behind fucking her.
The father clenched his fists, turns multiple shades of red, veins pop out of his forehead. The anger can be felt for miles.
But, nobody says a word.
Exhausted, Greg begins to eat again, but suddenly hears a loud clap of thunder in the distance. As the old man's words echo in his head, he stands up and pulls out his jar of Vasoline.
Suddenly, the father slams his hands on the table and shouts, "Alright, enough! I'll do the goddamned dishes! "
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