One Saturday afternoon in Ireland, a man is playing a round of golf on a public course. As he approaches the sixth hole, he hits the ball and slices it pretty hard to the right. Grumbling, he walks out, deep into the weeds and stumbles across a sleeping leprechaun. He nudges the leprechaun and it says to him "Ah crap, I thought this was far enough off the course that nobody would come out here. Well, rules are rules: you found me and I will grant you one wish."
The man replies "I'd like to be the greatest amateur golfer in the world."
The leprechaun replies "All right, I can do that for you, but there's a catch: your sex life is going to go downhill quite a bit." The man agrees and the leprechaun grants his wish and vanishes in a cloud of green smoke.
The man pulls out his 4 iron and lines up the next shot. He swings and when the golf ball lands, he is astonished to see it has landed on the green only a couple yards from the hole. He sinks it in a single shot with his putter and ends up making par. On the seventh hole, he swings his driver and the golf ball goes straight down the middle of the fairway, landing directly on the green again. With mounting excitement, the golfer finishes the round of golf with pars and birdies, and even makes two double birdies, finishing well below par. After another couple of weekends of amazing golf, he decides to enter an amateur tournament at his local club, winning by three strokes against the runner-up. Emboldened, he starts entering competitions at other courses further away, and within a couple of months, he has become the best amateur golfer in the world.
About a year later, he returns to the public course and approaches the sixth hole. He swings and slices the ball hard to the right. "Huh, I haven't done that in quite a while," he remarks to himself. Once again, he finds his ball far off in the weeds, right next to the leprechaun. The leprechaun greets him and asks him how he has been. The golfer says "Thanks, my life has been wonderful. I'm the greatest amateur golfer in the world."
"Well, how about your sex life?" asks the leprechaun.
"Oh, just great. I really can't complain."
Puzzled, the leprechaun asks "How many times have you had sex in the last year?"
The golfer says "Well, maybe three times?"
The leprechaun laughs and says "You've had sex three times in the last year and still think your sex life is great?"
"Well, for a priest in a small town in Ireland, I think I'm doing pretty well."
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