The Girl with the Wooden Eye

Another of my old man's jokes...

A girl and her friend are sitting in a busy night club where lots of people are dancing. The friend says, 'Honey, you should find someone to dance with.' The girl says, " I don't know, I'm so self conscious about my wooden eye. Guys always stare at it and make fun of it and say mean things.' The friend says, "What about that guy over there with the wooden leg? Look, he just smiled at you. Surely a guy with a wooden leg wouldn't be judgmental.' So the girl says, 'OK, I'll go ask him. Not sure he can even dance with that wooden leg. But he's kinda cute." So she gets up and walks over to the guy with the wooden leg. He gives her a great big smile as she walks up, since every other girl has ignored him all night. "Would you be interested in dancing with a girl like me?" she asks. The guy can barely contain himself. Standing up, he yells out, "Would I?! Would I?!". Aghast, she sticks her finger in his face and yells, "You're a splinter dicked wood legged acorn nut pecker sucker!"