There once was a farmer, and he was very old. Every week, he went to town to have a laxative mixed at the pharmacy. The pharmacist usually mixed one that kicked in the day after the farmer took it.
One day, though, the farmer got to the drug store, and the assistant was working the counter. Being in desperate need of a bowel movement, the farmer went ahead and let the assistant mix the laxative.
The assistant, not wanting to waste material, began asking the farmer some questions. "How far away from the door did you park?" "How fast do you drive?" "What route do you take?" "Do you have indoor plumbing or an outhouse?" "How long is your driveway?"
With each answer, the assistant would add a little, or take some out as needed. When he finished, he told the farmer, "Go ahead and take it. I guarantee it will take effect as soon as you get to you toilet."
The farmer took it, and went on his way.
The next week, the farmer went back to the pharmacy, and the regular pharmacist was back. "How was my assistant?" he asked.
"He was pretty good," the farmer said, "Just a minute and a half too early."
Many of the jokes are contributions from our users. If you find anything offensive and against our policy please report it here with a link to the page. We will do everything to make this an enjoyable platform for everyone.