Once, there was an emperor in a distant land, who loved his wife very much. No man dared to touch the empress, unless he wanted his hands cut off.
Now the emperor had to leave for three months to go to war. Before leaving, he fashioned a special metal underwear for his wife to wear. The underwear had two holes for business. Anything could exit the holes, but an automatic knife would slice anything that tried to enter the holes.
When the emperor came back, he asked all the men of his court to drop their trousers.
All 180 men were missing a dick, except his general.
The emperor, touched, gave his general the choice of women, riches, or land. His general didn't respond.
The emperor asked again, but the general still didn't respond.
Finally, the general opened his mouth,
and he was missing a tongue.
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