The dry cleaning bill.

A businessman is drinking heavily in a bar and suddenly pukes all over himself.
He is really bummed out and mumbles his wife is going to kill him.
"No worries" says the bartender, "put a twenty in your shirt pocket and when you get home tell your wife some other guy puked on you and gave you the twenty bucks for dry cleaning."
"That's a great idea" slurs the drunk.
When he gets home his wife, as expected, is disgusted with him.
But he tells her about the twenty bucks in his pocket for dry cleaning.
She reaches into his shirt pocket and pulls out the money.
"There is $40 in here" she says.
"Oh yeah" says the drunk. "He shit in my pants too!"