The Contest! (Very long, Very adult)

Contest: Beer vs. Pussy


A beer is always wet.
A pussy needs encouragement.
Advantage: Beer.


A beer tastes horrible served hot.
A pussy tastes better served hot.
Advantage: Pussy.


Having an ice cold beer makes you satisfied.
Having an ice cold pussy makes you married.
Advantage: Beer.


Beers have commercials making fun of skunky ones.
Pussy does not.
Advantage: Draw.


If you get a hair in your teeth consuming pussy, you are not disgusted.
Advantage: Pussy


24 beers come in a box.
A pussy is a box you can come in.
Advantage: Pussy.


Too much head makes you mad at the person giving you a beer.
Advantage: Pussy.


If a beer is brewed with yeast, it is still edible.
Advantage: Beer.


If you come home smelling like beer, The Woman may get mad.
If you come home smelling like pussy - you're dead.
Advantage: Beer.


6 beers in a night and you better not drive.
6 pussies in a night and you have done all the driving you need.
Advantage: Pussy


Too much beer and you get fat.
Toom much pussy and it makes you poor.
Advantage: Draw


It is socially acceptable to have a beer in the stands at a football game.
You are a legend if you have a pussy in the stands at a football game.
Advantage: Pussy


If a cop smells beer on your breath, you are going to get a breathalyzer.
If a cop smells pussy on your breath, you are going to get a high five!
Advantage: Pussy


With beer, bigger is better.
Advantage: beer.


If you think all day about the next pussy you will have, you are normal.
If you think all day about your next beer, you are an alcoholic.
Advantage: Pussy


Peeling labels off of beers is fun.
Peeling panties off of pussy is more fun.
Advantage: Pussy


If you suddenly drop a beer, it may break.
If you suddenly drop a pussy, it may hunt you down like the dog you are.
Advantage: Beer.


If you change to another beer, your old brand will gladly have you back.
Advantage: beer.


The best pussy you have ever had is not gone once you have enjoyed it.
Advantage: Pussy.


The worst pussy you have ever had is not gone once you have enjoyed it.
Advantage: Beer.


Bad beer: Schlitz, Pabst Blue Ribbon, Old Swill.
Bad pussy: Roseanne, Janet Reno, Madeline Albright, Dana Doran
Advantage: Draw


Good beer: Guinness, Sam Adams, New Castle.
Good pussy: Almost all but the above.
Advantage: Pussy.


The government taxes beer.
Advantage: Pussy.


It's a close call, but the numbers never lie.
Advantage: Pussy.