There's a man in a bar and he is incredibly drunk. He gets so drunk that he pukes all over his shirt. He slurs to the bartender, "I'm in shtrouble noaw...when my wife finds out I got sho druhnk I puked on my shirt...she'll khill me!".
The bartender replies, "Don't even worry about it. Here's what you do. Take a $10 bill and put it in your shirt pocket. Then, when you get home, tell your wife that some OTHER guy puked on your shirt and gave you $10 for the cleaning bill."
The drunk slurs back, "That's fucking genius. I'll try it!".
Hours later, the drunk staggers home and is greeted at his front door by his angry wife. She says, "Well, what happened to you tonight?" He responds, "I was at the bar and thish guy got so druhnk that he peuked on my shirt and he gave me thish $10 for the cleaning bill."
His wife replied, "But this is $20."
"Oh, I almosht forgot...he alsho shit in my pants!"
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