The Bus Driver on Sesame Street

One day a young husband gets a job as a bus driver on Sesame Street. The morning of his first day on the job, his wife gives him a kiss goodbye and says, "Now I want to hear all about it when you come home, dear."

So he sets off and drives along Sesame Street. He makes his first stop, and to his astonishment, on comes a super muscular, extremely-chiseled 6-year-old girl! The girl says, "My name's Patricia...and I'm LEAN!!" and takes her seat. At the next stop, here is a little girl who is even more muscular than the first one...veins popping out, bulging biceps, the whole nine yards. She steps on to the bus and says to the driver, "My name is Patricia...and I'm MEAN!!!" A little baffled by the look of his first two passengers, he continues on with his route.

He reaches the next stop, and feels relieved to see a normal-looking little boy, dressed in a sweater and tie. He gets on the bus and says to the bus driver, "My name is Ross...and I'm special!" The bus driver says, "That's nice, Ross," and Ross takes a seat.

At the next stop there is a little kid in a suit carrying a briefcase. He introduces himself as "Lester," gets on the bus and sits next to the two muscular girls. The bus driver continues driving, but can't help but notice through his large rear-view mirror that Lester starts playing Three-card Monte with them, and is cheating! He thinks to himself, "He's dead meat if they catch him cheating, but it's not my business to say anything," and continues driving. He starts to notice the faint smell of onions, but doesn't know where it's coming from. As he gets closer and closer to school, the stench of onions is so strong that the bus driver is almost teary-eyed.

Finally all the kids go off to school, and the bus driver, now on lunch break, goes back home to his wife. "How was your first day?" she asked. He replied, "You wouldn't believe it: two all-beef patties, special Ross, Lester cheats, reeks of onions on a Sesame Street bus!"