Sylvester Stallone, Jean-Claude Van Dam, and Arnold Schwarzenegger

So one day, Sylvester Stallone, Jean-Claude Van Dam, and Arnold Schwarzenegger were sitting together in a bar, kicking back, drinking a few brews, talking about life and talking about the roles they'd played in movies.

As the three men talked, each was surprised to realize that all three of them had grown tired of playing the action hero- shooting the bad guys, pulling off life-threatening stunts, and getting the girl in the end. The whole scene was just all played out for them.

By chance, Stallone had with him a script that his agent had given to him kind of as a joke. The script would allow three actors to act out the role of their favorite musical composer. The three men were delighted, "This is great! Nobody would ever expect this from us! Let's do it!" And so the agreement was made. Soon, a big budget studio was attached to the project, Spielberg signed on to direct, everything was falling into place.

On the day of the first pre-production meeting, the actors realized they needed to pick parts. Since Stallone had proposed the idea, he got to choose first. After thinking for a minute, he declared "I want to be Beethoven." The others agreed to let Stallone have Beethoven.

Next, it was Van Dam's turn. He thought for a moment, then declared, "I want to play Mozart." And the others agreed to that as well.

Finally, it was Arnold Schwarzenegger's turn. After thinking about it for several moments, Schwarzenegger finally declared, *cue Terminator voice*: "I'll be Bach."