The Soviet leadership was receiving reports of factory workers drinking on the job. They dispatch a Commissar to investigate, and he went to a factory and asks one of the workers, "If you had a glass of vodka, could you work today?"
The worker replied "I, I guess I could, sir."
The Commissar continued, "And if you had two glasses of vodka, could you work?"
The worker said, I guess I could, sir."
The Commissar asked, mostly out of his own curiosity, "If you had three glasses of vodka, could you work?"
The worker pulled out his flask and said, "I’m here, aren’t I?"
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