Sometimes i flirt and i feel really akward. Idk if the people around me are gonna hate more for it. I have this rly weird feeling in my stomach and sometimes idk why.

My girlfriend was...

Then she said "what the hell am I going to do with two dead dogs?

Waiter, there's a...

Waiter, there's a fly in my soup! Don't worry sir, the spider on the...

BLIND PILOTS

An airliner is fully boarded and ready to push-off from the gate, when two...

A hunter wakes...

and says, "Get up your going hunting with me!" She replies " NO, it's too...

Always drive in...

This is a true story. Many many years ago, before drink driving laws were as...

A polar bear...

Bartender: What'll you have? Polar bear: I'll have a gin...

Why can't Trump...

Cause they can't grasp the concept of integration. (all credits to my friend...

What did the...

Don't make it hard for yourself.

What did...

Electricity

My wife was happy...

Until 9 months later when Consuela's baby came out looking just like me!