Some jokes and quotes from an archive

==================================================
> Regular naps prevent old age... especially if you take them while
driving.
> ====================================================
> Having one child makes you a parent; having two you are a referee.
> =====================================================
> Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and
the
other is husband !
> =====================================================
> I believe we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried - but they
wanted cash
> ==================================================
> A child's greatest period of growth is the month after you've
purchased
new school uniforms.
> ====================================================
> Don't feel bad. A lot of people have no talent.
> =================================================
> Don't marry the person you want to live with, marry the one you
cannot
live without... but whatever you do, you'll regret it later.
> ===================================================
> You can't buy love . . . but you pay heavily for it
> ===================================================
> True friends stab you in the front
> ====================================================
> Forgiveness is giving up my right to hate you for hurting me.
> =================================================
> Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.
> ====================================================
> Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get
tired
> =================================================
> My wife and I always compromise. I admit I'm wrong and she agrees
with me.
> =================================================
> Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others.
> =================================================
> Ladies first. Pretty ladies sooner.
> =================================================
> It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still
ends
up with the same boss.
> =================================================
> Real friends are the ones who survive transitions between address
books.
> =================================================
> Saving is the best thing. Especially when your parents have done it
for
you.
> =================================================
> Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk because
they
have to say something
> =================================================
> They call our language the mother tongue because the father seldom
gets to
speak
> ====================================================