So there's a terrible shipwreck, and there are only three survivors that wash up onto a desert island - a French guy, a British guy, and a guy from New Jersey. They're immediately captured by cannibals and spend days locked in a cage, awaiting their fate. Finally the Chief of the cannibals comes to them, after days of starvation, and says "We're going to kill you, eat you, and make canoes out of your skin."
"Oh no," they cry. "Won't you reconsider?"
"No," says the Chief. "But I will let each of you choose how you will die."
So the British guy says, "Very well, if I must die, give me a pistol with a single shot." So they do, and he bravely puts it to his head and says "God Save The Queen," and blows his brains out.
Next the French guy says, "Oui, if I must go, give me ze noose." So they do, and he throws it around a tree branch and bravely says "Viva la France," and hangs himself.
Lastly the guy from Jersey scratches his junk, spits, and says "Hey yeah, uh, gimme a fork." So they do, and he stabs himself repeatedly in the chest, all over. He says "Fuck your canoe."
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