So there was this guy

And he was lost in the woods for days eventually he finds this random 2 floor wodden shack and he goes and knocks on the door.

An old Chinese man answers who looks like he was alive when the dinosours ruled the earth.

The young man who was lost explained his situation and begged for food and water.

The old man agreed on the condition that the young man didn't make a move on his sister or he would face the three worst Chinese tortures. Looking at how old the man was the you man agreed and was let in. He was taken to a spare room and stayed there until dinner.

When he came down for dinner there was this gorgeous specimen an 11/10 girl and the young man couldn't keep his eyes off her but remembering the old mans threat he did his best not to look. However, the entire meal the girl was obviously flirting with him and so the young man ran to his room.

Hours passed but the man couldn't sleep he could only think about the girl. Eventually he said fuck it and would risk the old mans wrath. So he snuck into the girls room and proceeded to have the best sex he had ever had and the crept back to his room.

The next morning the man woke to find a heavy rock on his chest with a note that said "Chinese torture #1 rock on chest". The rock was painful but if this was the best the old man had then the young man could survive.

At that moment the old man came into the room picked up the rock and threw it out the window and pointed to a sign under the window. " Chinese totrure #2 rock tied to left testicle".

The young man without thinking jumped out the window after the rock thinking a few broken bones was better than losing a nut.

It was as he was falling to the ground that the young man saw the third sign "Chinese torture #3 right testicle tied to bed post",