So one day a man wakes up and things are weird...

So one day a man wakes up and things are a little off. He can tell something is different and he slowly begins to put together the fact that he might be dead. He keeps looking around and realized it may be worse than he thought. He begins to realize he is in Hell. So he walks over to a demon and says, "excuse me, this is a pretty dumb question but ... am I dead and in hell?" The demon looks at him and says, "Sorry dude but yeah you are." "Fuck!" The man replies, "What the fuck did I do to end up here?" "Look its not that bad." says the devil. "How could it not be THAT bad it Hell?" The devil looks at him and says, "Well do you like Beer?" The man says "Hell yea I like beer". "Well good", says the Devil "Every Wednesday we sit around and spend the whole day just drinking beer." The man breaths a sigh of relief and thinks to himself, well at least I have one day to look forward to. The demon continues, "Do you like football?" "The man says, "Fuck yea I like football!" The Demon says to him, "Well we have our own league down here of all the dead NFL Player and every Thursday we just play a couple of games." The man thinks ok well maybe I get a two day break from all the awful demonic torture. The devil says, "You humans have it all wrong, Hell is great! Do you like Grilling?" The man again says yes emphatically, and the demon tells him that Friday is devoted to giant cookout. The man says to the Demon, "Maybe I made the right decision ending up here in hell. I will get used the fire and all!" The devil smiles and says, "Yea dude thats the spirit! Do you like getting fucked in the ass?" The man looks at him astonished and says, "No... No i do not." The demon says, "well... you probably won't be a fan of Saturday then."