So I'm sitting in the exam room at my doctor's office...

I'm waiting and waiting. For nearly 20 minutes I wait before he comes in. When he comes in he starts going through my chart. He is flipping through each page, stopping to look at me after each page. He turns to me and says "Dave, you're going to have to stop masturbating." I ask him "why is that, Doc?"

He says "Because I'm trying to give you an exam."

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