When we sat in the theater, I was a little disappointed because I already planned the whole thing out, even cut out the hole and everything. After a couple minutes, I thought I might as well go for it instead of letting all my preparation go to waste. As soon as I stuck my dick in the fiery cauldron of melted butter, salt, and peppers, I felt excruciating pain. I tried to suppress noise, but she very quickly noticed my agony, and laughed because she thought I had no heat tolerance. She then proceeded to grab a handful of popcorn. And my dick. I immediately jumped straight up from the pain, with the popcorn flying everywhere over the audience in front of us. As I stood with an empty bucket hanging over the fly of my pants, she freaked out and called me a pervert and a whole bunch of other names. And the cops. The pain lasted another 30 minutes while they took my info. Eventually they decided I learned my lesson enough and let me off with a fine and a ban from the movie theater.
The moral of my tale is, don't do the popcorn bucket thing unless you want your date to get jalapeño penis.
Many of the jokes are contributions from our users. If you find anything offensive and against our policy please report it here with a link to the page. We will do everything to make this an enjoyable platform for everyone.