Lawyer: Do you have grounds?
Woman: Yeah, we have an acre and a half
L: No, that's not what I meant. Look, do you have a grudge?
W: Yeah, we have one for 2 cars behind the house
L: No. Look lady, does your husband beat you up?
W: No, I get up about a half hour before he does
L: Why do you want a divorce?
W: Well, we seem to have a communication problem...
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