Smallest feet...

Three tiny men were arguing about who was the smallest when finally, one got fed up and proclaimed "whether or not I am the smallest, I know I have the smallest feet in the world and I'll prove it!!" He goes home, calls up the Guinness Book of World Records. They immediately show up, confirm his world’s tinniest feet and the next day he meets his two tiny buddies, just beaming, with his new "World’s Smallest Feet" plaque.

This gives one of his friends an idea. Wanting a little glory himself, he proclaims "whether or not I am the smallest, I have the smallest hands in the world and I'll prove it!!" He storms off, goes home, calls up the Guinness Book of World Records. They immediately show up, confirm he does in fact have the smallest hands in the world and give him a plaque. The next day he meets his two tiny buddies, grinning ear to ear, with his very own plaque.

Seeing that this worked twice in a row, the third tiny man wants a taste of this glory and he proclaims "whether or not I am the smallest, I know I have the smallest *penis* in the world and I'll prove it!!" He storms off, goes home, calls up the Guinness Book of World Records.

The next day, they all meet again and this third tiny guy is not so happy. His buddies ask what's wrong and where is his plaque for the worlds tinniest penis. He says he couldn’t get the plaque, they ask why. He answers, “who the fuck is /u/Unidan???”