My credit card was stolen & my rating actually went up. Hopefully, that same person will steal my car & keep up the payments!
74% of American's are now overweight. That explains why the other 26% aren't...there's no food left for them!
Senator Bob Corker is on Trump's list for a possible vice president. That's not a name that a fishing lure!
The ENTIRE Cubs infield will start at next weeks All Star game. That's like finding out all Ben & Jerry's flavors are vanilla!
Just 30 days till the 'Zika De Janero Olympics'. I want to be there to throw out the first M.R.I.
R & B singer Ciara & NFL QB Russel Wilson are married. Marriage may reduce the number of letters before their names.
Google's under investigation for age discrimination. They got suspicious when Pampers were mandatory office equipment!
Trump got almost 25 million votes from his rhetoric. That makes sense, Samson slew the Philistines with the jawbone of an ass!
Today's Inspirational Thought; The difference between Washington & Vegas is that in Vegas there's a chance you won't get screwed!
It was so humid yesterday I was sweating like a Berkeley graduate at a spelling bee!
I'm at the age where my next tattoo will be 'Do not resuscitate'!
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