[Satire] Windows 10 Update

According to insider references, Microsoft should be coming out with a statement in the near future regarding Windows 10. Much like the unravelment of the Donald Trump campaign by Stephen Colbert, Windows 10 is supposedly a hilarious joke that no one seems to catch on to. The statement Microsoft will be releasing will be in acknowledgment of this joke along with plans for an automatic reset to users' previous OSs that will occur in the near future. "We thought that people would catch on once they downloaded Windows 10 and started using it," remarked Mary Hayswitt, one of Microsoft's software engineers and part of the design team for Windows 10, "but some people just don't seem to get it. We created a search engine for a PC, gave it a funny name, made whatever you search for open a browser in Internet Explorer (which we also gave a funny new name), and search for what you searched for through our other search engine Bing! Isn't that hilarious!?...I can just imagine the looks on people's faces when they click on the 'start' menu only to find a bunch of tiles." She admitted that the creation of Windows 10 was partially designed to force its users into not using anything Google related out of spite. When asked about the limited features of Windows 10 that even Windows 8 and 8.1 users found convenient she responded, "Well it's not a complete OS. The control panel is only 50% of what it used to be, so we didn't include many customization options or the ability to not automatically install updates. We wouldn't make a complete OS just for a joke." In fact, upon further discussion, it was revealed that the option to not automatically install updates was intentionally removed from Windows 10 for the *Joke Repairment Program (JRP)* which will be automatically downloaded to desktops running Windows 10 that will restore each system to its former OS. "It wasn't just that we were bored," Hayswitt said about the purpose of Windows 10, "We wanted to give our customers a good laugh, but at the same time I think it serves another purpose. Since most people took it seriously, Windows 10 makes previous Windows OSs shine like never before. Maybe once the JRP is all said and done, people will look at their old operating systems in a new light and appreciate the little features and functions they took for granted."