Satan and St. Peter decided to hold a soccer game in paradise. It was to be hell versus heaven.
When everything had been arranged, St. Peter said to Satan, "Look, I can't be dishonest with you. There is no way that your side can win. All soccer players are simple, pure people and when they die, they all go to heaven. Heaven is full of soccer players."
"I thank you for your sincerity," replied Satan "but don't worry, we can defend ourselves."
When St. Peter had left, Satan's secretary said, "St. Peter is right - we will lose the game. All the good soccer players go to heaven."
"Don't worry," said Satan. "Where do you think all the judges go?"
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