A man gets seated at a restaurant and accidentally knocks a spoon off his table. A waiter immediately rushes over, pulls out a spoon from his breast pocket and places it on the table. The man is impressed: "Do you always carry a spoon in your pocket?" The waiter replies, "Yes. Management conducted a study which determined that 17.8% of our patrons knock over their spoon during the course of their meal. So management now requires us to carry a spoon as a productivity enhancement measure so we don't have to make so many trips to the kitchen or clean utensils. The patron is duly impressed.
During the course of his meal, he notices that all the waiters have strings coming out of their front pants zippers. He calls over his waiter. "I couldn't help but notice the string coming out of yours and the other waiter's zippers..." "Ah, yes," the waiter replies, "another management productivity device. Every waiter is required to have a string tied to his penis so when we have to urinate, rather than touching ourselves which would make our hands dirty, we use the string to pull it out." Perplexed, the patron then asks: "Then how do you, um, 'tuck yourself back in'?" The waiter replies: "We use the spoon."
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