[REQUEST] Short joke for class captain speech

First I want to say sorry if this subreddit doesn't usually do requests. I only found it 10 minutes ago.



Anyway so I just landed in a new school and my mother has made me go for class captain.
In primary school I would write a proper speech, using quotes and really good english etc.
But I have a max 30 seconds to speak tomorrow so I don't want to ramble on about bullshit people won't want to listen to.



My plan is to introduce myself, say a joke or 2, act semi-serious again and then finish it off normally with a thank you.
I am requesting a short joke or quote that I could use for tomorrow.



Thanks in advance and sorry if this was the wrong place to ask for this :)


**TL;DR** Im requesting a short joke that I can use in my class captain speech.

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