Policeman

What to not say to the nice policeman.I can't reach my license unless you
hold my beer.Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged
in.Aren't you the guy from the Village People?Hey, you must've been doing about
125 mph to keep up with me! Good Job!I thought you had to be in relatively good
physical condition to be a police officer.I was going to be a cop, but I decided
to finish high school instead.Bad cop! No doughnut!You're not gonna check the
trunk, are you?Gee, that gut sure doesn't inspire confidence.Didn't I see you
get your butt kicked on Cops?Wow, you look just like the guy in the picture on
my girlfriend's nightstand.Is it true that people become cops because they are
too dumb to work at McDonald's?I pay your salary!So, uh, you on the take or
what?Gee, Officer! That's terrific! The last officer only gave me a warning,
too!Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.I was
trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there is no other car around--that's
how far ahead of me they are.What do you mean, "Have I been drinking?" You're
the trained specialist.Well, when I reached down to pick up my bag of crack, my
gun fell off my lap and got lodged between the brake pedal and the gas pedal,
forcing me to speed out of control.Hey, is that a 9mm? That's nothing compared
to this .44 magnum!Hey, can you give me another one of those full body cavity
searches?