Pink Clouds

Every time I this joke, I always tell it replacing the "Guy 1," "Guy 2," etc. with friends' names. It's much funnier that way, but tell it however you wish. That's the great thing about it; you can change it to fit whoever you're telling it to, doesn't have to be about a pub. I once told it where my friends were segwaying around town and crashed and shit.

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One sunny day, three guys decided to walk down to the nearby pub and have a drink, rather than drive. And so, they're on their way there when a car swerves off the road and hits all three of them as they're walking down the sidewalk. All three die.

The trio finds they (somehow) all made it into heaven! The gatekeeper, before opening the pearly gates, warns them. "You may do whatever you wish, but do not step on a pink cloud!" They nod and go in.

Since they never got to, the three guys start wandering around to find a pub. Guy 1, being the funny one of the group, decides to push Guy 2 onto a pink cloud. He does so and Guy 2 finds himself chained to the ugliest woman he's ever seen!

Well, the four eventually find a pub and order a few rounds whilst listening to the woman's never-ending obnoxious chatter. Guy 3, the most drunk of the group, goes outside to have a smoke and get away from it all. Whilst stumbling around, he accidentally falls on a pink cloud! He too is chained to an ugly woman, even uglier than Guy 2's.

Guy 3 reluctantly walks back in the pub and, much to everyone's dismay, the two ladies immediately hit it off. They're loud, annoying, opinionated, and disgusting. Guy 1 is the only one without a lady and is obviously quite happy about this.

Then, Guy 1 finds himself chained to the most beautiful woman he's ever seen.

*ba dum tiss*