Man walks into a bar with a monkey. Monkey jumps up on the bar. Monkey grabs a peanut, shoves it up his ass, takes it out and eats it.
Monkey jumps behind bar. Monkey grabs a pretzel, stuffs it up his ass, takes is out and eats it.
Bartender is shocked, says, "What the hell is your monkey doing?" Man says, "Ever since he ate a pool ball he checks everything for size."
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