Only in America

A European Count who had a fascination with the American West, arranged for a trip to a Texas town named Outlaw. Outlaw was small but didn't know it and the town fathers were determined to impress the Count with their worldliness. They arranged to have the local orchestra perform Beethoven's Ninth Symphony at the school auditorium after the traditional rodeo and barbecue.

The Count arrives and is suitably impressed. At the barbecue he completely pigs out on steak, ribs, fried okra and cornbread. He has seconds of everything and thirds of some. Afterwards, he waddles to the auditorium and settles down to an evening of great music.

Unfortunately, the orchestra had been invited to the barbecue and the barbecue had kegs of beer. By show time the two bass players were completely drunk and two of the tenors from the chorus were missing completely. Undaunted, the orchestra kicked in and got through the first movement with only minor mishaps.

Since the school stage was fairly small, bringing the chorus on for the second movement entailed a lot of shuffling of chairs and in the confusion the directors score was knocked off its stand. Try as they might, they couldn't get it to stay on the stand again and in desperation, they tie it on with a string. Somewhat flustered, they gamely carried on until the schools overtaxed heating system kicked into overdrive and the ceiling fans started gyrating madly with a mighty racket.

The situation was practically unbearable. You could cut the tension with a knife. After all, it was the bottom of the ninth, the score was tied, the bass' were loaded with two men out, the count was full and the fans were going wild!