On-Line Too Long

You know you've been on-line too long when...


* You start introducing yourself as Jim at aol.com.


* Your wife drapes a wig over the monitor to remind you of what she looks
like.


* You check your mail. It says "no new messages" so you check it again.


* You name your children Eudora, Mozzilla, and Dotcom.


* All of your friends have an @ in their names.


* You tell the cab driver you live at
http://123.elm.street/house/bluetrim.html


* You tell the kids they can't use the computer because "Daddy/Mommy's got
work to do".


* You get a tattoo that says "This body best veiwed with Internet Explorer
5.0."


* You ask the plumber how much it would cost to replace the chair in front
of the computer with a toilet.


* You start tilting your head sideways whenever you smile. :-)


* As your car chrashes through the guardrail on a mountain road, your
first instinct is to search for the "back" button.