Ohio State Calculus Final Story

The setting is Ohio State University about six or seven years ago in a huge
lecture hall (approximately 1000 students) for a Calculus final. Apparently this
particular calculus teacher wasn't very well liked. He was one of those guys who
would stand at the front of the class and yell out how much time was remaining
before the end of a test, a real charmer. Since he was so busy galavanting
around the room making sure that nobody cheated and that everyone was aware of
how much time they had left before their failure on the test was complete, he
had the students stack the completed tests on the huge podium at the front of
the room. This made for quite a mess, remember there were 1000 students in the
class. Five minutes turned into ten, ten into twenty, twenty into fourty...
almost an hour after the test was "officially over", our friend finally put down
his pencil, gathered up his work, and headed to the front of the hall to submit
his final. The whole time, the professor sat at the front of the room, strangely
waiting for the student to complete his exam.
"What do you think you're doing?" the professor asked as the student stood in
front of him about to put down his exam on one of the neatly stacked piles of
exams (the professor had plenty of time to stack the mountain of papers while he
waited). It was clear that the professor had waited only to give the student a
hard time.


"Turning in my exam," retorted the student confidently.


"I'm afraid I have some bad news for you," the profesor gloated, "Your exam is
an hour late. You've FAILED it and, consequently, I'll see you next term when
you repeat my course."


The student smiled slyly and asked the professor "Do you know who I am?"


"What?" replied the professor grufly, annoyed that the student showed no sign
of emotion.


The student rephrased the question mockingly, "Do you know what my name is?"


"NO", snarled the professor.


The student looked the professor dead in the eyes and said slowly, "I didn't
think so", as he lifted up one of the stacks half way, shoved his test neatly
into the center of the stack, let the stack fall burying his test in the middle,
turned around, and walked casually out of the huge lecture hall.