No problem

Daughter comes to her mother in tears and says:
- since i got married to vasya, he's never had me...
- oh, no problem. tell him to come to me.
he comes, and the girl's mother says:
- when you go to bed with my daughter, you know, you have a knob and she has a
hole, just stick it in and the mother nature will help you.
next day the daughter comes back crying:
- what did you tell him, mom? he plugged his nose into my a****** and shouted:
'mother nature, help me! i'm suffocating!'