No Canoe

Three men get captured by cannibals on a tropical island. Before
they are stripped of their skin to make canoes out of, they are
given their choice of how to kill themselves. The first wishes
to die quickly and painlessly, and shoots himself in the head.
The second chooses to die slowly and somewhat euphoricly by
drowning, and subsequently immerses himself in the lagoon until
dead. The third, asks the tribal chief for a fork, and proceeds
to stab himself repeatedly all over. When the tribal chief askes
why he has chosen such a painful and masochistic form of death,
the condemned man replies, "There's no way you're making a
fucking canoe out of me!"