New Weight Loss Program! [somewhat NSFW]

A very overweight and rich fellow saw an advertisement for a weight loss program. He calls the number. "Hello, would you like to lose some weight?" he hears from the other end of the phone.


"Yes!" the man replies.

"Excellent! I must warn you, our programs are very expensive, but that's because they really work. Program A is what first timers usually start with and it is $10,000.”

"No problem, I have a lot of money. I’ll take it! See you soon.”


A week went by and the large man showed up at the weight loss center. Once there he approached the desk and said he was ready to begin program A. After handing her a check for $10,000, the woman behind the counter directed him to a large empty room and shut the door behind him.

All of the sudden, a door opened and the most beautiful woman the man had ever seen walked through the door, a smile on her face, totally naked. A sign gently hung from her neck in front of her which read:

“You catch me, you fuck me."

The man ran and ran and ran and ran after the woman, but just could not catch her. Finally he stopped, out of breath, unable to continue. The next week, he came back to the weight loss center, and couldn’t wait to begin another session. As he approached the counter, the woman said to him: “You know, if you enjoyed program A, we do have program B if you're interested. It’s even better than program A, but it's $20,000."

“Even better than program A!?” What could be better than that woman he chased? Two women? Three? “It must be better if it’s twice the price! I’ll take it!"

So he wrote a check for $20,000 and the woman showed him back into the same room as before. A door opened again. This time a giant, angry, hairy, snorting gorilla walked into the room. It too had a sign around it’s neck, which said:

“I catch you, I fuck you.”