New college course for men!

A new two-year degree is being offered at the University that many of you should be interested in: Becoming A Real Man. That's right, in just six trimesters, you, too, can be a real man-as well as earn an MA Degree (Male Arts). Please take a moment to look over the program outline.

FIRST YEAR Autumn Schedule: MEN 101--Combating Stupidity MEN 102--You, Too, Can Do Housework MEN 103--PMS-Learn When to Keep Your Mouth Shut MEN 104--We Do Not Want Sleazy Under things for Christmas

Winter Schedule: MEN 110--Wonderful Laundry Techniques MEN 111--Understanding the Female Response to Getting in at 4 am MEN 112--Parenting: It Doesn't End with Conception EAT 100--Get a Life, Learn to Cook EAT 101--Get a Life, Learn to Cook II ECON 001A--What's Hers is Hers

Spring Schedule: MEN 120--How NOT to Act Like a Butt face When You're Wrong MEN 121--Understanding Your Incompetence MEN 122--YOU, the Weaker Sex MEN 123--Reasons to Give Flowers ECON 001C--What Was Yours is Hers

SECOND YEAR Autumn Schedule: SEX 101--You CAN Fall Asleep without It SEX 102--Morning Dilemma: If It's Awake, Take a Shower SEX 103--How to Stay Awake After Sex MEN 201--How to Put the Toilet Seat Down Elective--See Electives Below)

Winter Schedule: MEN 210--The Remote Control: Overcoming Your Dependency MEN 211--How to Not Act Younger than Your Children MEN 212--You, Too, Can Be a Designated Driver MEN 213--Believe Me, You Don't Look Like Tom Cruise MEN 230A--Her Birthdays and Anniversaries Are Important 1

Spring Schedule: MEN 220--Omitting %&*! from Your Vocabulary (Pass/Fail Only) MEN 221--Her Birthdays and Anniversaries Are Important 2 MEN 222--Real Men Ask for Directions MEN 223--Thirty Minutes of Begging is NOT Considered Foreplay

Course Electives: EAT 101--Cooking with Tofu EAT 102--Utilization of Eating Utensils EAT 103--Burping and Belching Discreetly MEN 231--Mothers-in-law MEN 232--Appear to Be Listening MEN 233--Just Say "Yes, Dear" ECON 001C--Cheaper to Keep Her

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