My uncle told me this one

Little Johnny goes to visit his grandparents for a week.

On the first day, he sees his grandfather smoking a cigar.

"Grandpa, can i have a puff of your cigar?"

"Well Johnny, does your dick touch your asshole?"

"No.."

"Well then you can't have any of my cigar."

A couple days pass, and Johnny sees his grandfather drinking a beer.

"Grandpa, can i have a sip of your beer?"

"I don't know, Johnny. Does your dick touch your asshole?"

"No.."

"Well then you can't have any of my beer."

A couple days pass, and Johnny's grandmother makes him a plate of cookies. He's eating the cookies when his grandfather walks in.

"Hey Johnny, could I have one of your cookies?"

"Well grandpa, does your dick touch your asshole?"

"As a matter o' fact it does."

"Well then go fuck yourself, cause grandma made these cookies for me."

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