A man walks into a bar with a dog. The bartender tells him to get out, since the bar doesn't allow dogs. The man says "But this dog is special! He can talk, and he's yours for 500 dollars." The bartender is skeptical, so the man says "Fido, speak." Fido begins yammering his mouth off, saying to the bartender "Man, you gotta get me away from this asshole! He barely feeds me, barely walks me, and hits me with newspaper if I bark. I hate him!" "Amazing!" says the bartender. "Why would you sell a dog like that?" The man responds "I am sick of his lies!"
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