My favorite jokes.

1.
A hippie walks into a bus and sees a very sexy nun. He walks up to her and says, "Hey there, wanna have sex?" The nun is grossed out and walks out of the bus. As the hippie is about to leave the bus driver calls him over an tells him, "Dude i saw you hitting on the nun. Well just to let you know...every Friday at 8 P.M. she visits her dead boyfriend's memorial at the graveyard." Friday comes and the hippie goes to the cemetery, he sees the nun sitting by a tombstone and pretends to be the ghost of the nun's dead boyfriend and tells her, "I order you to have sex with me!" The nun accepts and after they are done the hippie takes off running and yells to her, "HAHA! I was actually the hippie!" To which the nun replied, "HAHA! I was actually the bus driver."

2.
A guy goes to his psychologist one day and tells him, "Doc...lately, at work, I've been wanting to put my dick in the pickle cutter." His psychiatrist tells him not to commit such a bad decision. The guy then asks for some sort of treatment to get him to stop thinking about it and the psychiatrist tells him he can only advise him not to do anything stupid. The next day the guy comes back to his psychiatrist and tell him, "Guess what Doc? I did it. I put my dick in the pickle cutter." To which the psychiatrist responds, "And what happened?" The guy says, "Well I got fired." The doctor asks, "And the pickle cutter?" And the guy says "Well, she got fired too."

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