My favorite joke. So John owns a hardware store...

...and business is doing well. One day, as he is standing around keeping shop, he hears a booming voice from the heavens: JOHN, SELL YOUR HARDWARE STORE.

John looks around and nobody else is reacting. Nobody else heard it. So he decides to act as if nothing happened, and just hope he is not losing his sanity. Shortly, though, the voice comes again:

JOHN, SELL YOUR HARDWARE STORE. SELL IT, JOHN.

John is becoming deeply troubled, and tries his best to ignore the voice. But the voice persists, all day, all week. JOHN, SELL YOUR HARDWARE STORE FOR TWO MILLION DOLLARS.

Finally, after a week, John has had enough. He can't take it. JOHN, SELL YOUR HARDW- "Okay, okay! I can't take it anymore! I'll sell my hardware store for two million dollars!"

John finds a buyer, and sells the store for $2 million. Soon enough though, the voice starts up again.

JOHN, TAKE THE TWO MILLION AND GO TO VEGAS.
"Nuh-uh, no way, that's a terrible idea."
JOHN, TAKE THE TWO MILLION TO VEGAS.
"No, I worked my whole life to build this store, I'm not going to throw it-"
JOHN, TAKE THE TWO MILLION TO VEGAS
"Okay, okay, okay! Fine." John takes the two million, and heads for Vegas. Once he gets there:

JOHN, HEAD FOR THE BLACKJACK TABLE.
"No, I have never even played blackjack, I've got terrible luck."
JOHN, HEAD FOR THE BLACKJACK TABLE.
John's resolve is beginning to falter. "Alright fine! I'll play Blackjack."

JOHN, PUT THE TWO MILLION ON A SINGLE GAME OF BLACKJACK.
Now John is starting to get mad. "I worked my whole life to build that store-" JOHN, PUT THE TWO MILLION ON A SINGLE GAME OF BLACKJACK. "FINE!!"

John puts the whole two million on a single game. He's sweating. The game is heating up. There is 19 showing. The dealer asks "hit or stay?"

John is about to stay, of course. But the voice comes booming in once more. HIT JOHN. HIT.

John is feeling crazy at this point. "Hit!"

It's an ace. Now there is twenty showing. John would be crazy to hit now. Just as he is about to stay-

JOHN, HIT AGAIN.

"Now I have had enough! If I hit I will lose my entire life's work. I am not going to-"

JOHN, HIT AGAIN.

"NO!"

JOHN, HIT AGAIN!

"FINE! HIT!"

AND IT'S AN ACE! JOHN HAS WON! THERE IS 21 SHOWING! HE'S RICH! AND THE VOICE FROM HEAVEN BOOMS OUT:

UN-FUCKING-BELIEVABLE!!!