Mrs. Jones

Lawers should never ask a Georgia
grandma a question if they aren’t
prepared for the answer.
In a trial, a Southern small-town
prosecuting attorney called his first
witness, a grandmotherly, elderly
woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, ‘Mrs. Jones, do you know me?’ She responded, ‘Why, yes, I do
know you, Mr. Williams. I’ve known you
since you were a boy, and frankly,
you’ve been a big disappointment to me.
You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you
manipulate people and talk about them
behind their backs. You think you’re a
big shot when you haven’t the brains to
realize you’ll never amount to anything
more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I
know you.’
The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing
what else to do, he pointed across the
room and asked, ‘Mrs. Jones, do you
know the defense attorney?’
She again replied, ‘Why yes, I do. I’ve
known Mr. Bradley since he was a
youngster, too. He’s lazy, bigoted, and he
has a drinking problem. He can’t build a
normal relationship with anyone, and
his law practice is one of the worst in
the entire state. Not to mention he
cheated on his wife with three different
women. One of them was your wife.
Yes, I know him.’
The defense attorney nearly died.
The judge asked both counselors to
approach the bench and, in a very quiet
voice, said,
‘If either of you idiots asks her if she
knows me, I’ll send you both to the
electric chair.