Seamus and Mick found jobs at a sawmill when they arrived in America.
One morning after wetting his whistle, Mick slipped and sliced his arm clean off. Seamus quickly placed Mick's arm in a plastic bag and rushed him to the hospital. The next day, Seamus was shocked to see Mick back on the job. "It healed up nice and quick!" beamed Mick.
A week later, Mick drank too much again and severed his leg. Seamus ran over, bagged the leg, and rushed Mick to the hospital. Unbelievably, Mick was back to work the next day, sawing timber and smiling.
Yet another week went by, and Mick got plastered while working the big saw. As expected, he had another accident and chopped his head off. In disbelief, Seamus put his head in a bag and ferried Mick to the hospital. The next morning, Seamus didn't see Mick at work, so he went back to the hospital. He asked the nurse how Mick was.
"He's dead," she relied sadly.
"Ah, the saw finally did him in," lamented Seamus.
"No," the nurse said. "Some plonker put his head in a plastic bag, and he suffocated."
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