Luckiest man alive.

A man lost his job, closing in on losing his house. He's never been married. Or ever in a serious relationship. He has little to no friends and uses alcohol a little too much.

So, down on his luck, he gets hammered. Night after night, with no one to console him. He's brushing his feet against the ground on his home one night and hears a loud CLUNK. He looks down and picks up some sort of ornamental teapot? It has a cool looking design under a coat of ash and dirt so he rubs it off and POOF whaddya know! Out pips a genie.

The genie looks down in his glorious fog and says to the man, "congratulations! You have awoken azavaad the glorious genie. I shall grant you only one wish for releasing me."

So the man simply replies, "I want to be the luckiest man alive."

And so it was done.

The man wakes up in his house thinking he had an awkward drunken dream. But as he looks around his house it has completely transformed!

There was a chandelier, a grand piano, candelabras made of gold, and a stack of cash on his coffee table.

"Wow" he thought "it worked!"

So he decides to celebrate. Going to the nearest bar. As he enters sirens go off and balloons and dollar bills and glitter fall to the ground.

"Congratulations!" Says the bartender, "you are one lucky guy! You're our 1000th customer and you get a free bar tab for life!"

So he drinks himself almost under the table and decides to press his luck at lottery tickets. Well lo and behold he won the max prize on every shitty scratch ticket he could purchase. This continued for months. At the casino, taking home strippers and beautiful women, celebrities inviting him to the best parties.

But, alas, he is alone, and steeps into his lonely depression once more.

So he returns to the genie.

"Hey, genie, I wanted to be the luckiest man alive and while I'm grateful our definition of luck may be different. To me, being lucky would be settling down with a beautiful woman and having a family and living a successful and peaceful life."

"My bad," Says the great asavaad to him, "I shall correct this mistake and give you the most exotic woman for you to have for the rest of your life."

And again, it was done. He awoke in his awesome new house. Still money and glorious furniture everywhere. So he says fuck it I'll go get a coffee. As he is leaving with his coffee a woman bumps into him, spilling his coffee everywhere. He looks into her apologetic eyes and sees a beautiful Indian woman. With an accent, shaul, and dot on her head. Beautiful brown skin, dark eyes, and silky long hair. The whole package. She offers to buy him another and they strike up a conversation. And they end up having almost everything in common. They sat at the coffee shop for hours and talked and laughed. They were in love.

They went home and had the most romantic and passionate sex anyone has ever had, all night until they fell asleep from exhaustion. They spent every waking minute together. And with his riches he took her all over the world. So one day he proposes and naturally she says yes. They have a small beautiful wedding and a glorious honeymoon with everything he and she ever wanted. They have another round of passionate sex, even better than the time before until they pass out from exhaustion again

In the morning the man awakes, and is looking at her beautiful, naked, sleeping body. He runs his hand down her cheek and admires her. He truly is the luckiest man alive.

But then, still in her slumber, he notices the dot on her head is smudged. Which is wierd because he's never seen her without it. So he rubs it a little and it starts to fade away. And then the paint chips off a little so he starts to scratch it. AND THEN HE WON A TRUCK!