* Entry level position = We will pay you the lowest wages allowed by law.
* Experience required = We do not know the first thing about any of this.
* Compensation commensurate with experience = You're still not experienced enough so take this low pay.
* Generous benefits = We will give you extra two vacation days after 10 years of employment.
* Fast learner = You will get no training from us.
* Energetic self-starter = You’ll be working on commission.
* Flexible work hours = You will frequently work overtime hours.
* Good organizational skills = You will be handling the filing.
* Make an investment in your future = This is a franchise or pyramid scheme.
* Management training position = You will be a salesperson with a wide territory.
* Much client contact = You will answer your cell phone at any time and make cold calls on clients.
* Opportunity of a lifetime = You will not find a lower salary for so much work.
* Planning and coordination = You will book the boss's travel arrangements.
* Quick problem solver = You will work on projects already months' behind schedule.
* Strong communication skills = You will write a crapload of endless e-mails.
Edit: Grammar
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