Liz Taylor is going in for the final piece of plastic surgery...

...tightening of her vagina.
But she insists that the surgeon keeps her visit a complete secret.
He assures her that she can trust him.
Anyway she comes round after the op and the whole ward is full of flowers and
she goes mad and says to the doctor
"you promised not to tell anyone and it looks like the whole world knows, I'll
never be able to show my face in public" and he says
"look, I only told one person and all these flowers are from him" so he hands
her one of the message cards that came with the flowers and it says:

Dear Liz,

Thanks for the new ears,

love

Nikki Lauda