Little old lady

this little old lady calls 911. when the operator answers she yells, "help,
send the police to my house right away! there's a damn democrat on my front
porch and he's playing with himself."
"what?" the operator exclaimed.
"i said there is a f****** democrat on my front porch playing with himself and
he's weird; i don't know him and i'm afraid! please send the police!" the little
old lady repeated.
"well, now, how do you know he's a democrat?"
"because, you damn fool, if it was a republican, he'd be f****** somebody!"