Little Johnny is visiting his grandparents...

...during his summer vacation. The very first night after dinner he sees his grandpa enjoying a glass of scotch in his study. Johnny asks, "hey grandpa whatcha drinkin?" To which grandpa replies, "this is called whiskey Johnny." Johnny then asks, "can I try some?" With a smirk, Grandpa asks, "well, answer a question for me first. Does your dick touch your asshole?" Bewildered, Johnny says, "uhh, well, no." Grandpa then says, "I tell ya what, when it does I'll pour you your first glass myself." Disheartened, Johnny sulks away to bed. The next night after dinner, grandpa is sitting in his favorite chair enjoying a fine cigar. Johnny looks to his grandpa and asks, "Grandpa, do you think I can try a puff of your cigar?" Grandpa gets that same smirk on his face and asks, "well, Johnny, can your dick touch your asshole yet?" Looking down, Johnny replies with a sigh, "no. It cant." Grandpa looks at Johnny and says, "well, just like with the whiskey, as soon as it does Ill give you your first cuban." Dejected at this point, Johnny trudges into the kitchen and sits down at the dining table. Grandma is in there cleaning up from dinner and sees Johnny, obviously upset, so she asks, "whats wrong Johnny? You seem down sweetheart." Johnny tells Grandma, "its just, every time I try and get close with grandpa, he pushes me away." Sympathizing for the boy, grandma tells her grandson, "that old codger is set in his ways. Don't take it personal. I tell ya what, why don't you and I bake you your very own batch of cookies? Would that make you feel better?" Excitedly, Johnny exclaims, "it sure would!" A little later after the cookies are out cooling on the stove, grandpa walks in and proclaims, "Mmmmm Mmmm! Are those your world famous cookies I smell dear?" To which grandma replies, "actually, these are Johnny's cookies. I only helped." Grandpa looks down at Johnny and asks, "do you think I can have one of those cookies Johnny?" Johnny looks up at Grandpa cool as a cucumber and says, "well, Grandpa, let me ask YOU a question." Grandpa says, "sure Johnny. Shoot." Johnny then asks, "Can your dick touch your asshole?" Shocked at Johnny's language, Grandma starts to raise her hand to teach him a lesson until grandpa reaches down, steadies her arm and says, "its alright dear. Ill handle this." With that sly grin of his, Grandpa looks at Johnny and says, "as a matter of fact it does." Johnny takes one look at the cookies and then up at his Grandpa and says, "well then you can go fuck yourself Grandpa! These are my goddamn cookies!"