A year and a half ago Lemmy, because of his Heavy Metal lifestyle, was visited by Death who was a huge fan because of all the songs he’d written about her (including “Killed By Death”). Death told Lemmy that he, Rickman and Bowie (the best of them) would all soon die under the “they always go in three’s” rule and a new “dead at 69” rule. Lemmy told Bowie and Rickman, who accepted their fate. But the three of them also decided that they didn’t want to leave the world in such grave danger because of the threat posed to world peace by one particularly powerful fourth individual.
So they made a deal. Lemmy would cheat Death! At the moment of dying at the age of 69 years, 11 months and 30 days Lemmy’s soul, in purgatory, challenged Death to a JD drinking contest. Lemmy won (of course) and for his he was granted a few more days on Earth. This took him to the age of 70 so that when he died he was not part of the 69 club. Now that Bowie and Rickman have also passed on Death, honour bound to complete her “they always go in three’s” rule and a new “dead at 69” rule turns her eyes to 69 year old presidential hopeful Donald Trump!
Many of the jokes are contributions from our users. If you find anything offensive and against our policy please report it here with a link to the page. We will do everything to make this an enjoyable platform for everyone.