Q: If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?
A: It might be your bicycle.
Q; Why does California have so many lawyers and New Jersey have so many toxic waste dumps?
A: New Jersey got to pick first.
Q: Did you hear about the new sushi bar that caters exclusively to lawyers?
A: It's called, Sosumi.
Q: Did you hear that the post office had to recall its series of stamps depicting famous lawyers?
A: People couldn't decide which side to spit on.
Q: Did you hear about the two Indian lawyers who formed a partnership, Cachem and Sioux?
Q: Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, an honest lawyer and an old drunk are walking down the street together when they simultaneously spot a hundred dollar bill. Who gets it?
A: The old drunk, of course, the other three are mythological creatures.
Q: What is the ideal weight of a lawyer?
A: About three pounds, including the urn.
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